In his sermon a few weeks ago, our lead pastor made the point that God is more interested in working in us than through us. I’ve been mulling over that message ever since, especially regarding my service at church.

When I agreed to head the Writing Team at LifeNet Church and serve as a writer and editor for our blog, I thought I knew exactly what I was signing up for. I had over a decade of experience as an editor, had taught writing to adults for many years, and in graduate school I majored in creative writing.

At first, my thoughts were mostly on what our writing team could do for the Lord—the people He would touch and hearts He would encourage through our devotionals, stories, articles, and reflections. And we've worked diligently on each week’s post. We sometimes spend eight hours or more on a piece—studying scripture, researching, drafting, revising. As editor, I often work late into the night, writing feedback notes and emails to the other writers. I suspect it's the same for my co-editor Jadine. The work has been very manageable and fulfilling, especially since our team is a wonderful group of people who love the Lord and have a heart for service. However, what I didn’t realize at the start was that the most important part of my job would be learning to let God work on me.

For example, I once spent a huge chunk of my Sunday evening editing a devotional and emailing my suggested edits to the writer, only to have her call me to say, “Ms. Ivory, I just finished writing this new story that I would really like you to post instead of the devotional you just edited. Would you mind, please, taking a look at it and posting that instead?”

Remember, now, I just spent hours editing her devotional. My shoulder muscles are in knots, and I’m limp with exhaustion. All I want to do is collapse on the couch and stay there for the remainder of the evening. Furthermore, her devotional is scheduled for posting in a few short days, and my co-editor also needs to review it. So, yes, I do mind. And no; I don’t want to work on a whole other piece right now. But I don’t say that out loud (at least not that way). I say, “Okay; I won’t make any promises, but I’ll take a quick look and get back to you.”

But even as I walked toward the laptop, I knew I would grant her request because there was that still, small voice telling me, “This is important to her. This is what loving her looks like today and what it means to die to self.” 

That doesn’t come easily for me. By nature, I’m a selfish person. I like to have things my way. But I have been saying to the Lord these past few years that I don’t want to remain a baby Christian. I want to bear good fruit. And so, that Sunday evening, I obeyed His prompting. Joyfully.

As I said, my service on the Writing Team has been very rewarding, and by the grace of God, the work has been quite manageable. But every now and then, there are these tests. Sometimes I fail them, sometimes I pass them. But I’m learning to recognize God’s hand in them. I’m learning that He’s interested not so much in what He can do through me but what He can do in me.

How about you? As you reflect on this past year, what things have you sensed God doing in you?

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